Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Islam - The Proof Why Only Muslim Men Can Marry Non-Muslims!

Only by chance did i bump into this blog: http://diasporicdiscontents.blogspot.com/2007/01/to-all-anons.html

She (a muslim) seems want to marry a non-muslim. I woudn't have commented except that she said (the meaning of): "no one can prove that ONLY men can marry non-muslims".

Please read her post first, then read mine so you know what she exactly said.

I wanted to send her my humble reply, but she had comments area closed for that post. So, i will put it down here.

Note: I am not talking about "WHY" men only can marry non-muslims (the reasoning behind it)...
I am talking about "THE PROOF" from Quran and Suna that such a law exists.

The Why part can be discussed on a different occassion.

------

Talking about the proof from Quran or Suna that men can marry non-muslims yet women can not…

I will use some of the comments you wrote (I’ll put them in BOLD) and then comment…

You throw verses at me as if I were an ignorant cow and offer opinions that have absolutely no basis in the Quran.”

Of course the people doing that with you are wrong. We should respect each other even if we have total opposite views.I am with you on that.

Talking of:
(”It is not permissible for a Muslim woman to marry a non-Muslim from any other religion, whether from among the Jews or Christians…”) because there’s nothing to back that claim up.”

I guess what they are talking about is the verse which you mentioned
“The Quran says that NO MUSLIM, man or woman, is allowed to marry a mushrik (2:221) nor a kafir (60:10-11). NO MUSLIM. Period. End of discussion.”

As mentioned here:

">َلا تَنْكِحُوا الْمُشْرِكَاتِ حَتَّى يُؤْمِنَّ وَلأَمَةٌ مُؤْمِنَةٌ خَيْرٌ مِنْ مُشْرِكَةٍ وَلَوْ أَعْجَبَتْكُمْ وَلا تُنْكِحُوا الْمُشْرِكِينَ حَتَّى يُؤْمِنُوا وَلَعَبْدٌ مُؤْمِنٌ خَيْرٌ مِنْ مُشْرِكٍ وَلَوْ أَعْجَبَكُمْ أُولَئِكَ يَدْعُونَ إِلَى النَّارِ وَاللَّهُ يَدْعُو إِلَى الْجَنَّةِ وَالْمَغْفِرَةِ بِإِذْنِهِ وَيُبَيِّنُ آيَاتِهِ لِلنَّاسِ لَعَلَّهُمْ يَتَذَكَّرُونَ

AL Bakara 2:21

If we just agree that Ahl Kitab are not mushrekeen (at least not all of them tab3an, like not all Muslims are mo2meneen), as you said here:
No where in the Quran are Jews or Christians referred to as kufar. A kafir is a “rejecter of the truth”, a person who is convinced of Islam in his/her heart but for some reason or another rejects it.”

Ok, fine. I’m with you.
So, we agree that Muslims can not marry Mushrekeen (Kufar..etc).

Then, we as muslims would say to ourselves, where is the verse that says we (men or women) can marry from non-muslims?? the answer comes within verse which is obvious…

الْيَوْمَ أُحِلَّ لَكُمُ الطَّيِّبَاتُ وَطَعَامُ الَّذِينَ أُوتُوا الْكِتَابَ حِلٌّ لَكُمْ وَطَعَامُكُمْ حِلٌّ لَهُمْ وَالْمُحْصَنَاتُ مِنَ الْمُؤْمِنَاتِ وَالْمُحْصَنَاتُ مِنَ الَّذِينَ أُوتُوا الْكِتَابَ مِنْ قَبْلِكُمْ إِذَا آتَيْتُمُوهُنَّ أُجُورَهُنَّ مُحْصِنِينَ غَيْرَ مُسَافِحِينَ وَلا مُتَّخِذِي أَخْدَانٍ
Al Ma2eda 5:5

So, very clearly God is saying “Muslim MEN can marry Ahl Kitab Women””.Yet, there is no other place in Quran that says:” Women AND men can marry”… if there is, please mention that verse.

Ok, done with that part.

Now, on other things…I totally agree with you in the part you said:

Those who believe (in the Qur’an), and those who follow the Jewish (scriptures), and the Christians and the Sabians,- any who believe in God and the Last Day, and work righteousness, shall have their reward with their Lord; on them shall be no fear, nor shall they grieve”. (2:62)
Not all who call themselves Muslims will enter heaven. Not all who do not call themselves Muslim will be condemned to hell. Look at 22:17…

Yet, once again I disagree with you about the part:

“Neither the Quran nor the Sunnah explicitely forbid interfaith marriage for Muslim women. YOU are forbidding interfaith marriage.”

Simpley beucase there is a verse that allows men to marry non-muslims (jews or chirstians) and not women to marry non-muslims (as I mentioned in the vesre before). So you were wrong on this one…

Quran as we both agree tells us what is forbidden and what is allowed.
So, here we have Quran in the verse saying…Men can marry non-muslims (and never said that women can marry non-muslims).

Don’t you think that if God would have wanted to allow muslim women to marry non-muslims, God (being who HE is) would have added that both men and women can marry non-Muslims??!!
God is not ONE to forget… 7asha lelAh! As we both of course agree tab3an.

You might say: “Hey, wait a minute, not because HE didn’t mention it in Quran means it’s forbeddin!”. If you say that then you are wrong for two reasons…

One is that God is not ONE to forget… 7asha lelAh! He would be very clear about such commandments.

The second proof is a Suna one, here goes...

Who is our Idol, the one who we took our religion from?
Prophet mohammed tab3an.
Excellent!

Before he passed away (PBUH), he said in his Hajj (Hajj before he passed away):
As mentioned in Sorat Al Maaeda (verse 3):}الْيَوْمَ أَكْمَلْتُ لَكُمْ دِينَكُمْ وَأَتْمَمْتُ عَلَيْكُمْ نِعْمَتِي وَرَضِيتُ لَكُمُ الإِسْلامَ دِينًا {

At this point the line was drawn and the revelation was complete and the guide for us in this life (Islam as a Shareea) was completed. Note, completed as in there is nothing missing! Marriage of course is one of the things tab3an!

So, please answer one of the following questions…
Did the prophet allow any muslim woman marry any non-muslims (although there were many jews in Madinah for instance)?
Did anyone from his followers (whom were taught by him about everything) during his life or even after his death (PBUH) allow such a thing?
Did any muslim woman specifically from his followers during his life or even after his death (PBUH) marry a non-muslim?

The answer is NO for all of them!

And I am sure you agree that neither you nor I have better knowledge of the applications of Islam than the Prophet and his followers, wala eh?????

At the end of the day, you have all the right to marry who you want (non-muslim). But if you will, don’t do it in the name of Islam.
Because you don’t have one proof from Quran or Suna that it is permissible that a Muslim woman can marry a non-muslim (yet, your counterpart has proof men can marry).

Oh and before I end this…

As for the part you said:

“While a lot of you anons like to say that believing in the trinity makes one a mushrik, none of the Christians I know actually ascribe partners to God. And if you talked to any Christian and tried to explain to him/her that they are ascribing partners to God, they’d laugh in your face.“

They might laugh and say we don’t believe that God has a partner. That’s good of course that they believe that HE has no partners.

But, they can not laugh about not saying Jesus is God (as we all know, for Christians Jesus is God). As muslims we don’t believe that. As God said in this verse…

لَقَدْ كَفَرَ الَّذِينَ قَالُوا إِنَّ اللَّهَ هُوَ الْمَسِيحُ ابْنُ مَرْيَمَ



Al ma2eda 5:72

Yet, we (as you mentioned at the end of your post) are not to judge people. We are not to say who is Kafir and who is not. God will do that.
I totally agree with you.

Good luck and God bless us all to follow the right track.

24 comments:

شهرزاد Shahrazad said...

There are muslim scholars that are re examining the meaning of these surahs. It's actually being debated whether only men can marry non muslims because the ayas seem to be directed at both men and women and so would mean that both can marry "ahl elketab", which i believe would include more than christians and jews since there are those who "'otoyo el ketab" before them. That's what i think but i'm not a scholar or anything.

Fadfadation said...

Walahi ya Shahrazad wala ana.

As for the Ahl Kitab identification (the meaning of the word), it has been known throughout isalmic history (fikh and tafseer scholars) that the word Ahl Kitab means Christians and Jews.

The proof from Quran is:

أَنْ تَقُولُوا إِنَّمَا أُنْزِلَ الْكِتَابُ عَلَى طَائِفَتَيْنِ مِنْ قَبْلِنَا

Al Anaam 6:156

And then the clarification comes even more clear in:

قُلْ يَا أَهْلَ الْكِتَابِ لَسْتُمْ عَلَى شَيْءٍ حَتَّى تُقِيمُوا التَّوْرَاةَ وَالإِنْجِيلَ وَمَا أُنْـزِلَ إِلَيْكُمْ مِنْ رَبِّكُمْ وَلَيَزِيدَنَّ كَثِيرًا مِنْهُمْ مَا أُنْـزِلَ إِلَيْكَ مِنْ رَبِّكَ طُغْيَانًا وَكُفْرًا فَلا تَأْسَ عَلَى الْقَوْمِ الْكَافِرِينَ

Al Ma2da 5:68

So, i guess anyone saying besides that will fail drastically.

What really worries me that these days is that every Tom, Dick and Harry think that because they read a few books, they can change things in Islam just to fit their preferences. I am talking general speaking not about the Ahl Kitaab issue.

Fadfadation said...

Shahrazad, Sorry i forgot to comment on the part you said:

"the ayas seem to be directed at both men and women and so would mean that both can marry "ahl elketab","

At one point the Quran don't marry (talking to men and women of Islam) except mo2meneen like you.

Then after that another Aya comes and says: "men you can marry women from ahl al kitab".

الْيَوْمَ أُحِلَّ لَكُمُ الطَّيِّبَاتُ وَطَعَامُ الَّذِينَ أُوتُوا الْكِتَابَ حِلٌّ لَكُمْ وَطَعَامُكُمْ حِلٌّ لَهُمْ وَالْمُحْصَنَاتُ مِنَ الْمُؤْمِنَاتِ وَالْمُحْصَنَاتُ مِنَ الَّذِينَ أُوتُوا الْكِتَابَ

It literally says “Al Mohsanaat” min Ahl Al kitaab (“women” of Ahl Ak itaab not men) only.

It is clear that the permission is only for men.
Actually, for the past 1428 years it has been extremely clear (only muslim men can marry ahl kitab). Only these days do we hear weird fatawa coming out. But, anyway I guess discussions are a healthy thing.

The most interesting thing i heard recently, is that even muslim men are not free-handed to marry "any ahl kitaab" woman, there are restrictions.

It said that she has to believe that Mohammad is a prophet, although she didn't follow him or be a muslim.

I have no idea if this is right or not.
I can see people saying, no this is not mentioned in Quran or Suna (the ristriction that the ahl kitab women that muslims may marry HAVE to believe in Mohammed PBUH).

Allaho a3lam...

Fadfadation said...

Check this out...

This is a concept of an American lawyer (the meaning of):

"Being a lawyer, If we look at Quran as a book of Law..." (it is greater tab3an)
"law books are viewed as a whole and laws can not contradict each other..."

" …then, we find that there is a law in Quran that says: Men can marry non-muslim women (Jews or Chirsitans), this from a law point of view means that the opposite is not allowable unless clearly written in another part of the Quran".

Not a bad point to think of, eh?

Red Tulips said...

Fadfadnation:

Here's the irony. I am absolutely not a believer. I absolutely do not advocate any of what I am reading in the Koran. But I also believe that the only way forward is through a clear, non-rose-colored look at history and religous texts. Let's look at what Islam (and for that matter, all religions) actually stands for, and then determine a) Is it worth keeping? b) If so, what parts are worth keeping? c) How much can be excised without taking away the "essence" of the religion.

My bottom line position is in the desire for intellectual honesty, and the end to political correctness. Let's see things for how they are, warts and all. Only then can there be a real understanding of anything.

شهرزاد Shahrazad said...

Fadfadation,
Thanks for the lengthy reply but i must say, though i agree with the fact that these ayas are in the Quran tab3an, the interpretation of them is not set in stone. I absolutely subscribe to the belief that other religions and not just judaism and christianity qualify as ahl el kitab. I don't believe this for my own convenience or because i need to marry a non muslim, christian, or jew. The Quran clearly states that there were other religions before the three we mentioned. That they too are ahl kitab and that muslims believe in what came to them and what came to Abraham and what came before him. I therefore cannot believe the word of islamic scholars above god's. If we're talking religion and using the Quran to justify a pov then we can't be selective and only use what islamic scholars have approved, right?

Also i still believe, for no selfish reason, that the Quran does not prohibit women marrying ahl kitab. The quran forbids alcohol so if i drink i won't attempt t justify it religiously. The Quran doesn't forbid women marrying non muslims.There is no aya that says that. so it's still the same for both men and women i think.

شهرزاد Shahrazad said...

Fadfadation, you make a very good point about people using religion or remodelling god to suit them and their particular needs. I don't agree with being selective when it comes to religious texts. I do think it's very healthy to look at strongly held views whether they're religious ones or not and question why you believe in them. The Quran hasn't changed and won't but i have no problem in reading it and finding out whether what i've been doing is right or wrong or just the interpretation of a well established sheikh. Religion can certainly withstand that. Any religion can otherwise it wouldn't still be around. Also re the Tom, Dick and Harry comment, religion in general, and islam in particular, is not exclusive to those who are well read or that call themselves sheikhs etc. eldeen nozzel 3la all people and as far as islam's concerned it came to a rasoul ommy. My point is i guess it makes no harm for people who are not an authority on sharia and sunna etc to interpret a text that they believe came to them from god without a middle man. I'm not saying that it's not ok to ask someone who has more knowledge than you when you get stuck. I'm just saying that you should try to understand and question and use the Quran as a point of reference before accepting a belief that's very common, in this case the right to marry a non muslim etc.:)

I must just comment on the lawyer's point. For me it's not valid because he's looking at the Quran as a book of law. He lost me there, it's not a book of law and islam is not a legislative religion so any point after that won't make sense to me because he reduced a book about so many things and only 2%legislation to being a law book. That's very selective and inaccurate if you ask me.:)

Red Tulips,
I partly agree with what you're saying, especially about being honest etc. But the problem with looking at history and politics and war when examining what any religion stands for is that you end up judging the politics of the time and the people but confusing that with the religion itself. If we want to look ata any religion then we can't judge it by historical events and the people subscribing to it. If we want to examine the history of a religion those points would be relevent then of course.

Red Tulips said...

شهرزاد Shahrazad:

The only way to understand a religion is to understand the original intent behind scripture. The original intent in this case was because of the clannish/tribalistic nature of Arabs. Given Muslims in America (and the West) no longer abide by such old school tribalism, I heartily approve either overturning or completely reinterpreting Islamic law.

But the only intellectually honest way to do so is to admit these laws exist to begin with, then examine why they exist, and then determine if that reasoning applies in the modern day.

The problem with doing so in the case of Islam is that the actual text of the Koran is seen as the exact word of Allah. Of course, this is easily disproven with the fact that there were many different Korans that existed at one point, until basically one Koran was chosen as "the Koran." So while Muslims may believe that the Koran is the exact, irrefutable word of Allah, the history of the Koran itself proves that this is an absolute impossibility.

Once that is understood, then reform of the religion (and verses such as the ones being discussed here) is possible. But it absolutely will never happen if well-intentioned people like Carmen lie to themselves over what the Koran actually says.

Anonymous said...

Red Tulips, u say:
"... the fact that there were many different Korans that existed at one point..."

I'm sorry, i'm not very well read about this particular issue, so could you please, if readily available, give any link or name your source of this info?

I will search online (in case that's what u want to tell me :) ), i'm just asking if u have readily available info in order to save time, that's all :)

N

Red Tulips said...

Anon:

Please read the wikipedia link on the origin and development of the Koran.

link here

raghoooda said...

i care more about the WHY reasons

Ma-3lina said...

Nothing more to say actually
very gr8 detailed reply mash alah

Fadfadation said...

SHahrazad,

By the way, i wasn't refering to you at all while speaking, i was speaking in general (3alashan bas maye7sal soo3 tafahom).

Wehn you said:
"My point is i guess it makes no harm for people who are not an authority on sharia and sunna etc to interpret a text that they believe came to them from god without a middle man"

You are right, put when you want to understand a forign language you don't just rely on reading a book. There is nothing better than asking an expert.
Another point, GOd sent his message to the Prophet. THe porphet tought it to his followers. So we as Muslims when we differ about something in Islam we also refer to what teachings (tafseer) that the followers were taught.

The fact about every tom, dick and harry has always been there. But if you look around you now, you have people saying all sorts of weird stuff. For instance, the liquor part which you mentioned, some people these days say it is ok to drink it.
If you talk to them and tell them that they are completely wrong, they say:" eh ya 3am, mana bagtahid." (i have the right to read religion and make out of it what i can understand. I do not need an intermediate to tell me things).

So, It is a problem. To be safe and make sure we are not loosing the way (while reading), we HAVE to keep an eye on the applications of what was done in Quran and SUna and the Tafseer of them.
If we don't... 7'ody 3andek massa2 el 3ak ely 7aye7sal :(

Fadfadation said...

Red Tulipe,

Please put in mind that you have a totally different view than we Muslims do.

For Muslims Quran IS the word of God.

As for the versions you were talking about…

After the death of the Prophet (PBUH) there were only two versions.
Of course you think that they were different. Actually, they were not.

Do you know why or what was in them?

I'll tell you because it is mentioned in our history.
Both of them are exactly the same.

The difference between in the "SORTING" of AYAT.
One is sorted by the relegation date (first Aya being “Iqraa” and the last one being Sorat al “Fath”).

And the other is the one we have nowadays (first sora is “Al Fatiha” and last one ‘Al Naas”). The prophet after the completion of the revelation before he passed away, told his followers to sort the Ayat (verses and chapters) in the way we have till today. And he said, this is the way to keep Quran.

Some of the followers kept the previous version of Quran (which was sorted by date) with them. Which is not a problem since it is the exact same as the other one (and they knew the story behind the two stories). The difference is in the sorting of Ayat.

So came Utman Ibn Affan (3rd ruler after the Prophet), said we (muslims) should only keep the version the prophet told us to keep. Because with the expansion of the Islamic state and the thousands of people embracing Islam… people might get confused (especially new people going into Islam).

Of course within history, you'll find people who are either hypocrites, people who hate Islam...etc and they will come up with rumors of OTHER versions of Islam.

For instance, one might come out today and say "I have another version of Quran". He can say what he wants, but no one will take any notice of him because that is a lie.

Muslims (Sunnis and Shiea) know there is only one version. Even Sunni sometime accuse Shia of saying they have a different Quran version, which Shia say is a complete lie. They have the same version.


Ok, as for what is mentioned in Wiki (besides the fact that Wiki is not %100 authentic resourses, but for now lets say it is), there were some of the people (2 if I remember right) who were writing down the Quran per the Prophet’s sayings in the prophet’s life who reverted from Islam and came up with different versions of Quran and kept saying rumors about Quran (this is documented in our Islamic books).

Also, a few years after the death of the prophet, some sects emerged and said that they have another version of Quran and talked about missing verses…etc. All fo which is no-sense because

What made us so sure that we only have one version (same text) is the fact that when the Prophet passed away he had not 100, not 1000 but thousands of followers whom knew the Quran by heart.

When Abu Bakr (1st ruler after prophet) decided that all people whom knew Quran by heart should all put Quran into one book (instead of either in their hearts or on scattered papers here and there). Of course this effort (them being so many) took a long time. But NON of them quarreled about Quran with different meanings or Chapters not being there for instance.

We can not control the accusations that come out (thoughout history), but for sure a few thousands putting on book without quarreling or saying things are missing (as mentioned above) is a very good proof that it is authentic.
And you being a lawyer know that the more witnesses the more powerful the proof is. How about a few thousand witnesses??!

Besides that, there is the word from God in Quran the meaning of: “We are the One whom decneded Quran and we will protect it”. I doubt that anyone can stop what God wants.
Although, I can see you come back and say:”Hey maybe someone implanted that verse in Quran?”. If you say that, then it shows how different we both are. It would be a waste of time if we are to go there.

For us (muslims), it “IS” the word of God and we will go by it.
In our case, we can\will think of reasons of why a certain law is put in a certain way. We won’t get ALL the wisdom behind something.

When we don’t understand something (like end of time…etc), here is where Faith kicks in.

For people of different methodologies (like yourself), you don't believe so.
You have the right of course to believe what you want.

Fadfadation said...

Oh SHahrazad,

When you said: "I absolutely subscribe to the belief that other religions and not just judaism and christianity qualify as ahl el kitab"

although the aya i mentioned to you before is clear talking about what ahl kitab should follow, hence who they are....

But there are Atba3 AL rosol. THese of course we beleive in them and their prophets as we were ordered in Quran.
But you are confusing those with AHl kitab.

The prophets we know of (elyaas, Hood,...etc) were sent to tell people to worship God. And in some cases for certain unjustice or wrong doing that they need to stop.

As for Jesus, Moses and Mohammed peace be upon them all, they came with BOOKs.

Even if we want to consider the rest of the prophets as ahl kitab...ok no problem...but..

who in this world, right now is following sayedna ilyaas's book (if there was one), or the book of sayedna Daoud?
we can not know becuase we don't have something to judge on.

Have you ever heard anyone in this world saying that he is a follower of sayedna Yousha3?????

i haven't...

Fadfadation said...

Raghooda,

I'll try and put down the WHYs i can come up with. Walaho a3lam tab3an

Red Tulips said...

Fadfadnation:

You really did not dispute what was written (and what I have read elsewhere) about the Koran having had many different versions at one time.

There absolutely have been verses that were kept out of the Koran.

In short, as I see it, Islam is like every other religion: religion by committee.

This does not make it worse than any other religion, and I think this should be embraced, because it is the "wiggle room" necessary for reform.

The fact, for example, that the Koran says, as I believe it to, that Muslim men can marry nonMuslim women but Muslim women cannot marry nonMuslim men...this logic worked in the 7th century. Frankly, it is not applicable to the reality of empowered reality today. This is just but one example of where Islam is ripe for reform.

My hope also is that while the literal word of the Koran says one thing, the non-literalists will persevere.

We'll see what happens. I take issue with "reformers," however, who wholly ignore what is written in the Koran and hope to reform it. I cannot see their words carrying much resonance beyond those in the West who are not following the literal words of the Koran, anyway.

Fadfadation said...

Red Tulipe,

GOd does not send a message (especially when HE says to the messanger that you are the last of messangers I'll send to Earth) just to last for a few years.
It will be a message that will last forever till the end of time.
God's words (in our case Quran) is not something that will stop over time or will become irrelavent over time and not make any sense. That is out of the question. GOd's words are eternal (HE is GOd after all).

To you (correct me if i am wrong) you have doubts that God even exists.
So, trying to make you understand what GOd and Islam is to me or anyone who agrees with my views is extremely difficult.

All i can say is that having Faith in God makes you look at things in a different way.

TO you eveything is arguable. Nothing has the FULL truth.

To us, God does exsist, and HE did send prophets whom we cherrish and idolize.
GOd did not leave us without a guide. And for sure, HE would have at least left us one True guide (religion) to help us go through this world.
To us this makes sense. To non-beielvers, non of this will make sense.
I can't really open your heart and try to feed belief or faith in to it. Neither can you open my heart and try to prove that God, his book and his relgion are void (as ta3'fero Allah).

We can both talk about it, but we'll get to a dead end at some point.
I guess we have to move on, that's the only thing left to do.

Anyway, it was nice talking to you :)

sara said...

Way to go :)

Fadfadation said...

Thanks :)

BonjourMissChica said...

wow, subhanAllah. i came across your blog by accident. thank you for these comments, Fadfadation. It has really helped explain a lot to me about Islam, especially with the origins of the Qu'ran in written form.

salaam

Fadfadation said...

thanks for the support Miss Chicha

Anonymous said...

Asslam ALikum ..

Well, I just came across your blog while I was actually searching for a proof for that question..I am studying in Germany and because of my Hijab and my look people tend to ask many question of the sort..I totally believed that is true from Sunnah and Qura'n but recently, I became very confused about it..I do not see it is very relevant to the life we have now, many non-muslim men would have no problems letting their muslim wives practice their religion, when there is such a relationship - and I have two muslim friends who encountered that here- non-muslim men look to the woman as a person, a human-being,,they have no problem giving her the freedom to do what she wants to do, and they that they should also have the freedom to follow the religion they want to..actually I am very confused, till now I am till clinging to the proofs I know, and I believe such a marriage is invalid, and I wouldn't do it myself, but I don't feel also that I have proofs that are actually valid for our lives now..

Fadfadation said...

Waa Alaykom AL Salam Waa Rahmato Allah Anon,

Well, to tell you the truth i see it as the difference between a believer and a non-believer:

A believer will follow what GOd says, and then ask questions and try find answers.

Not everything in Quran can i or you (as non-professionals in Religious science or researching) can find an answer to.
Why not try asking for a FATWA from a reputal institution?

For me all i know is, the rule is there...the prophet and the followers stuck to it (while there were many non-muslim men around muslim women) and it was not an issue for 1400 years (issue to debate about).

But nowadays everthying is about debates and confusion. And we (muslims) are the center of world’s attention.
Everyone keeps on about lets say 10topic in Islam (controversial from their perspective)... and we are on the defense.

Strange thing is you don't find jews for instance on the defense or anyone doubting them all the time, although in Judaism there are many more controversial topics (about women, slaves, treating enemies, marriage in judaism....etc.)

Even in Christianity (Orthodox Copts in Egypt for example), a woman cannot marry a non-christian man.

And many other examples.

For me at least, i am a believer and this is what i believe in.
I will try research and answer questions, but i see it this way...

We do not have to justify anything to anyone. We believe in God and we will stick to what HE ordered us.

AS someone once said: "In the world of confusion we stick the divine"