Sometimes my friends and I keep talking about our previous experiences and either laugh about them or feel sorry we did such things.
Since i don't meet my friends that much anymore (being abroad and all), i'll pull their legs with this post.
I decided to share some of the weird, funny, and sometimes bad experiences people I know went through (concerning girls and relationships).
These people can be anyone from my friends, previous friends (lost touch), relatives, people close to me, … etc.
I can see some of my friends freaking out now…lol
Don’t worry I’ll keep it anonymous as much as possible.
Note: All the incidents listed below are from a time our perspective about things was very different. We were either very young (teenagers) or never thought about right and wrong at that point of time (irresponsible besara7a).
Most of the things listed are wrong things (I am not encouraging them in anyway). But, I will tell them exactly as they happened.
Some of the listed incidents might not make sense except for the person related to the incident. Forgive me because I can not make things more clear (we do have common friends reading this and if I clarify more, they’ll know who I am talking about).
Here are some stories (as i remember them)…
- One of them once had a girl come to his place (they were alone), the only thing he did was slap her on the back of her neck (darabha 3ala 2afaha)!!?!!!!!
- Another one of them once had a girl come to his place (they were alone in the whole building), as he was talking to her outside the flat trying to get her inside the house (she was hesitant), the door slammed behind him and both of them were stuck outside. He ended up talking on the stairs. He was so bored with her…he slept on her legs as they sat on the stairs waiting for one of his friends to get the spare keys!! Yes, slept as in Zzzzzzzzz!
- I once went to Friday’s to find my best friend’s girlfriend there with another guy!!!!!!!!! When I told him (after a lot of hesitation), turned out she was double playing (m2artassaah).
- One of them went to meet a blind date, before he headed out to meet her... one of his best friends told him:”7atetla3 ashkeef yaaad ya ...” (calling his name). When that someone went to meet her she turned out worse than an Ashkeeef. He dumped her at once and the first thing he did after that was call his best friend to tell him: "m....@! abu ily ye3rafak…”
- One of them kept starring for 3 years at a girl at university (she started the staring by the way). In the last term of his final year at university, he got introduced to her. On that day we all were looking at him and he came up to us and said:” la2 mish 3agbany”!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [meaning: Nope, she’s not pretty!]
- One of them had a girl come to his house while his parents were away. As they were about to get naughty, his father opened the door of the flat. My friend ran out of his room and started talking to his father. The father felt something was fishy so he told him: ”Go down NOW and get me some bread!”. My friend had no choice, he went down. Meanwhile his father went into his room, looked allover the room but found nothing. The only place he didn’t look at was behind the door, where the girl was hiding!
- One of them had a crush on a girl at the university (for 4 years). He never talked to her. 4 years after graduation, he asked me and another common friend to talk to her asking if he could meet her (he was interested in marrying her). She agreed to meet him at a caffee. She and the common friend arrived on time, he arrived almost 3 hours late!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- One of them was alone with a girl in his car in a deserted area (desert road if I remember right). As they were in the middle of kissing, someone knocked on the window and said: ”inzel ya rewesh”. It was the police and the girl was 15 years old!!!!!!!!!!
- One of them took a girl to el Sahel El Shamaly (north coast resort area), only half an hour after arriving (seeing her without make-up, no hot clothes…etc.) he said:” yala nerga3 masr!”
- The default word anyone in the gang (college friends) used to say (when someone gets to know a hot girl) was:” tab eh?...sa7bet'ha ba2a ya me3alem!”
- One of them used to know a "few" girls. He used to introduce his friends to the girls he wasn’t interested in. His friends called it: ”THE GOLDEN QUEUE”. The question was always: ”Eh ya man? maa to7oteny fel golden queue”.
- One of them was trying (for some reason without me knowing) to get his girlfriend’s best friend to hook-up with me. When he told his girlfriend about his idea, she said:” daa befakarny bel gebna el beeda” [meaning: “he reminds me of white cheese”]…..looool
- One of them was known to be a big liar (lies about anything, just for the sake of it). The only time he didn’t lie in a relationship (wanted to get married), he was refused by her father. The father said: ”no he is a big liar” (although for the first time ever , he didn’t lie about anything at all!)
- One of them ended up kissing a girl everyone used to feel she was grouse. When eveyone heard about it, everyone said:”i333333333 gatak el 2araf!”. He was very happy about it!
- One of them had a indecent movie with him (film sakafi). His sister saw him taking it out of the video device, she asked him suspisiously: “what movie is this? who does it belong to?”, he spontaneously said: ”fadfadation” (saying my real name of course)…. Although I had nothing to do with the movie!!!!!!!!!!!!! When I asked him: “Why did you say my name since I didn’t give it to you”, he said:” if my sister or even mother knew that you are the one this movie belongs to, they'll believe me when i say it is not an indecent movie”!
Allah yesam7ak yaly febaly…shabahteny!
- Three of them were all dating the same girl at the same time!!!!!!!!!!!
- One of them was fond his neighbor. He got to know her and used to talk to her on the phone. Once, she called him at 2AM saying: “I've been kicked out of home, please let me stay at your place” (he was a guy living alone). The guy closed the phone and moved elsewhere.
- One of them went to Dubai on a trip. He was in a hotel and an Asian girl gave him the “you-know-what-looks” (obviously a hooker) , he left the place at once (not wanting to giving in). When he was back home, he told the gang:” lama shoftaha betbosely, fala2t” [when I understood what she wanted, I left at once”]. Another one of the gang’s face turned red. When asked: “why are you pulling faces?”, turned out his wildest fantasy was an Asian woman! till now (6 years) the guy is still pulling faces!
- One of them meet with a blind date, he didn’t like her at all. As he was taking her home, she put her hand on his hands (which he had on the gear stick while driving) thinking he'll like that. He told her:” law sama7ty sheley eeedek, mish 3aref 2asoo2!” .
- The same guy while still in the car with her, was so annoyed with her that when she put her head out of the window (for the wind to go through her hair), he said: ”da7’aly raasek badal lama tet2te3!”
- One of them was once leaning on a car with his body towards the street. A car passed by (full of girls) and he was pinched in his behind!!! (not really a pinch if you get what I mean).
- One of them used to say when he sees an attractive girl: ”El bet dy 3ayza tet3ad!”
- A girl at university used to keep on and on criticizing one of our friends. She used to say things like: ”eh el habal ely beya3melo da?!”, and :”eeeef! daa insaan 3’areeb”. One day he went up to her and asked her to be his girlfriend, she agreed at once!!!!
- A mother of one of them used to keep bugging him about marrying the girl next door. He didn’t like her at all (she was overweight and not pretty). He told his mother to for get it. The mother being an Egyptian “to the core” mother told him: ”Leeh yabny?! dy weshaha taba2”. [meaning: her face is round like a plate” thinking that it is a sign of beauty]! ..mothers! what do they know :)
- One of them found a girl waiting for him outside the building he lived in (he knew that girl for a while in the past). He asked her: ”what are you doing here?”, she said: ”ana 7amel minak”!! [meaning: “I’m pregneant and you are the father”]. It was obvious she was "around" too much and had no idea who the father really was simpley becuase he never even touch her!!!
- One of them had a female friend that used to interfere with all his love stories (spoiling them with her opinions). I told him: “Be careful! She has plans for you”. He said: ”No, no… she is just a friend. I’ll not fall for such a trick”. A few years later…they got married!!!!
- One of them got to know a 38 year old divorcee (a mother of an 11 year old). She offered him (indirectly) money and to join her at her house in Hurgada (resort on the red sea)!!!!
- One of them was dating a girl and then (out of the blue) she invited him to her wedding! believe it or not… he went!!!!!
- One of them had the "hots" for servants (7'adamaat). You can imagine what happened to him after the Nancy Agram famous video clip "Mafysh 7aga tegy keda"!
I guess these are more than enough…
I am sure each one of my friends knows which ones are related to him (for those friends who are still in contact of course).
And in case you are wondering... No! not all the people I know are twisted, superficial or crazy people…lol
Besides, most of them changed to the better now.
Mood: Cheerful :)