Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Nostalgia And Sadness

It is strange how time flies by so quickly.
It sometimes feels like trying to hold water with your hand.

Just yesterday, my wife was showing me old photos and videos of our elder son. He was about 1 year old in the photos.

I felt this strange bitter nostalgic, sad feeling when i saw his photos. I just wanted time to go back for me to hold him close and try to cherish every moment with him.

Going into bed i realized that this is a feeling i always get when i am nostalgic.

Whenever i look at old photos of me or my family or even my deceased brother, i get overwhelmed by this sad nostalgic feeling.

I remember talking to one of my primary school friends whom i got in contact with after 18 years (thanks to Facebook), and we were discussing our old school days. We had this photo with all of us posing in our school uniforms.

I asked her what feeling did she have whenever she looked at that photo over the past 18 years. She answered: "I felt happy".
Strange thing is, my answer was:" I feel sad, i feel i want to go back to those days and be a child again.".

Thing is, the sweet sadness feeling is very intense whenever i remember the primary school days specifically.

I do not know if it is the Egyptian in me, with his love of history and nostalgia.
Or is it because in the past things seemed easier, and there was less to worry about.
Or becuase i was with my family.
Or maybe because my brother passed away back then and that affected all of us back then very much.... i do not know....

All i know is, i miss anything that has to do with the past. It is a lovely, yet bitterly sad feeling.

Mood: Take a wild guess....

6 comments:

old school friend:) said...

I liked it when you said ''trying to hold water with your hands''..
because realy we can not stop time nor we can bring it back..it is hard as keeping water in our hands..you are right..

sometimes i feel that what i am living now is just a big long dream and i will wake from it and find my self still young ;)

feeling of nostalgia is very healthy in my opinion because it makes our memory always awake..as it lets us remember all what happened to us at the past..places..things..songs..tastes..even some times the smell of things..

you know..some times i find it weird that i feel nostalgic to my home country that i did not see till now..i do not know how? especially when i hear the song of Fairouz''nasam 3alina el hawa'' and i find myself cry ... and after crying i feel that the sadness feeling goes away...so try crying when you feel nostalgic..
i recommend it to you ;) it will keep you refreshed for a long time..

so you feel nostalgic to a life that you lived..i feel nostalgic to life that i did not live..kemet el nakad ya3ny..

so, cheer up and feel happy and not sweet sad with what you had and try to remember just the good things that happned in your life because the life that you lived is what brought you now to have your nice family now..without the sad things we would't know the meaning of the good things..

tab3an kol el kalam el ana 2olto mesh mortabet be ba3do..bas ana mesh ba3raf anazam el kalam ...

Fadfadation said...

Actually you did quite well :)

Kelly Davis said...

I know this is an old post, but I felt compelled to share my similar experience. I am a 35 year old American father of 2 children (4 & 2 years). I struggle with this similar intense feeling of sadness. Since having children I have really noticed it. When I think about months or years earlier or look at pictures of them when they were younger, I feel overcome with sadness that those moments are gone except for my memories. I feel like I should be happy for the all the times ahead that we have together, but it seems that every moment goes rushing by and there is only a sense of how fleeting our lives are. I feel similarly when I reflect on my childhood and on my experiences. When I talk to others about these feelings, they don't really seem to understand. I wonder if perhaps there is just something wired differently in my brain that affects how I process memories? Perhaps I am just overly focused on the past or overly introverted in my thoughts.

Fadfadation said...

Makes 2 of us Kelly :)

Birch-Wind said...

I totally understand this. And as time passes, my nostalgia gets worse. Rushing moments.. sometimes I feel as though even as I am walking/breathing, that time is passing so fast, that what happened moments ago is already lost. It's not really depression, but a sense of almost 'living in the past'.. I totally can't put it into words, but I feel as though I am stuck in Nostalgia Land.

Fadfadation said...

Some people find it romantic