Tuesday, January 29, 2008

In Parts Of The Muslim Society: "Second Marriage Or Cheating?"

Cheating: as in Adultery.

Some might answer… "non!" or "Why choose in the first place?"
Of course, the best thing is having only one wife and no cheating happening.

Thing is, I am not searching for the best answer or debating which of the two is better. I am just going to discuss a dilemma I have found out recently within our society or within our so called religious mentality.

In more than one occasion did this subject come up.
Two days ago, I was talking to a fellow female blogger (will not mention who because I didn't ask for permission) whom was cheated on by her husband. The issue was raised… "Second Marriage Or Cheating?".

Although she (among a few i know or heard from) answered within the lines of:
"I don't agree with other women who prefer cheating...if religion gave men a space to remarry, i can't object because there must be a point... but religion also gave me an option to not be involved anymore if i do not want to....cheating however is cowardly and cheap!
"

I respect that very much of course. But, in some cases I came across some shocking answers to say the least.

Even on the famous Orbit Channel programme "Al Qahira Al Youm" and the same subject was indirectly raised "Second Marriage Or Cheating?"...

To my shock some (quite a few!) women's answers were:
"Cheating!"...
"If he cheats, I might forgive him. If he wants to marry again. I'll never take that"!!

When I asked (a female I know who once also answered as such) how come a Muslim woman would prefer her husband commit Adultery (with all the 7'ataya in it) rather than him marrying again (per Islam)… she elaborated and said:
"If he cheats on me, it might be out of weakness. But, if he remarries, then he is in love. And I won't take that!"!!



The Consequence of remarrying! lol


I asked another female (or the same one…I can't remember): "So you have no problem with him doing a sin, yet you have a problem if he uses "an option" of marrying again if there is a necessity for it?""

The answer I got was:" A7san, inshAllah yero7 fy dahyabas maa yetgawezsh 3alaya!" ("Good! let him sin and go to hell, but at least he won't marry another") !!

I do understand and respect a woman's desire to be the one and only tab3an… that is their right and choice (hence they can get a divorce if their husband wants to remarry and they don't want to be the second wife).

But what I am talking about is, "when it is for a justified reason" and since it is part of our religion, why does society and\or the wife accuse the man who wants to go for it with stuff and talking negatively about him?

And for sure, why accept the fact that he can "CHEAT" (adultery) and maybe forgive him, but not accept him remarrying?!

Of course, anyone would prefer to have only one to live with and love. But, in some cases second marriage is the right option and works fine for some people.

-------------

One of my friends once said that there seems to be a trend in our society, he said:
"It is ridiculous how society (and a lot of women within it) has changed into considering or treating second marriages as a sin that is never to be allowed or forgiven.

Why will the "so called" religious society that we live in go against him (the husband), even if there is a justified reason for it?

Why will he be called: "7'ayen" (Traitor), "deny" (low life), "2aleel el asl" (does not appreciate sacrifices of the wife)…etc?

Socieity's Message: "Remarry and You'll Be Unplugged!"
.
Why the insults and cursing him?
Men nowadays are becoming afraid to even think of such an option of re-marrying because of society's fury!.

What can a man do if he needs\wants to be with another woman for whatever justified reason? Eeeeh! Yezni 3alashan el mogtama3 maa yez3alsh?!!"
"

There are examples around us of friends loosing each other because one of them decided to re-marry.

I find this very strange, why loose someone's friendship if that someone did something within the boundaries of our religion (and tab3an did it for a relevant reason!)?!

-------------

I remember on Al Qahira Al Youm Programme, that there seemed to be a misperception by many women that men can only love one.

And Of course, as usual Amr Adeeb (the programme representer) played Devil's Advocate as he usually does, and went something to the effect of:

NEWS FLASH WOMEN: "WE CAN LOVE MORE THAN ONE! ".

Yes, it is not a rule for all men. But, bottom line... it does happen that some men love more than one.

How?
What happens is, when married to two (for a justified reason), men will love one woman more than the other (but they do love more than one at the same time!).

To elaborate...

The ideal example, our prophet (PBUH) married more than one (so did Prophets Suleiman and Daoud - Solomon & David - …etc), he loved them all. Yet, his heart was leaning towards his then passed away wife "Khadeeja" and his then current wife "Aisha" (per a couple of narrations I am referring to).

And as he (PBUH) taught us, when it came to love towards one specific wife... he used to say this Do'aa (meaning of):

"O Allah, I plead you... accept my deeds which I can control (equality and fairness between wives and giving them their rights) and forgive me for the ones I can not control (his love for one of them more than the others)".

وروي " ) أنه صلى الله عليه وسلم كان يسوي بين زوجاته في القبلة , ويقول : اللهم هذا قسمي فيما أملك فلا تلمني فيما لا أملك (

Akeed, it would be easier for everyone to stick to one wife\loved one and that's it (who needs waga3 dema3').

And the fact that some men can love more than one does not mean "IT IS A RULE" or "It is enevatable"…etc. It is just happens to some, so why all this fuss about it in our society?!

-------------

Once a non-Muslim criticized Islam for allowing men to marry more than one. Arguing that cheating is less of a crime or blame.

Not wanting to talk about the reasons behind such an option (marrying more than one) and going through a long argument…the answer back was:

"You can not say that your way of life is better. Because bottom line is, if you want to compare between a second marriage verses cheating… the least result would be equal for both.

Why?
Because in both cases, the Muslim man and the non-Muslim man will be with 2 women at the same time! Spare me the lecture!".


Difference is, in the Muslim's case…the woman will have rights (inheritance, public affiliation, legal children…etc.). Unlike the one that a man cheats with.

-------------

My opinion is, that if a Muslim man wants to remarry for a a justifiable reason (within the boundaries of our religion), no one has the right to speak negatively about him…
"live and let live!".

If the first wife doesn't want or accept that, then divorce is the way to go. No need for insults or cursing.

Min el a7'er, the whole issue of calling or labeling ourselves as a religiously oriented society, and at the same time society criticizes someone who wants to do something that is part of religion... proves we live in a hypocritical society, and this is just "one" of the many dilemmas!

Note:
This is not a debate about if marrying more than one is part of religion and all that, so please spare me the debate about that point.
And no! I'm not getting married! And for sure I'm not going to commit adultery! GOD!!! lol

Stop accusing and judging PEOPLE! lol

Mood: Bedazzled.

Monday, January 28, 2008

"Dislike Thou Manager": Reasons Why Being A Deputy SUCKS!

There should be a life commandment that goes "Dislike Thou Manager" for some of the managers out there.

The ones obsessed with their hobbies and how they want things regardless of anything else.

Obsessed Managers

Please help me and answer this...

  1. When a manager's interest (bottome line) is to park under a sign called "Manager" and have the label on his Business Card...
  2. When a manager clips off his employees' vacations just to suite his vacation plans...
  3. When a manager lies that Management are the ones refusing employee vacations while he's the one doing that...
  4. When a manager disappears whenever without saying where he goes...
  5. When a manager leaves work early to go home without telling anyone...
  6. When a manager is so obsessed with his hobby that he decides to skip work and go watch a tournament...
  7. When a manager deputizes an employee to take decisions in his absence, and when he's back... he tells the other employees to void the deputies decisions because per his words: "I'm the manager not him!"...
  8. When the manager comments on employees and tells them off because they were 5-10 minutes late, yet he can come and go when he wants...
  9. When the manager stresses that employees have to be dedicated and do overtime, yet if they do overtime they can only take it when and how he says...
  10. When a manager has a deputy who already has a lot to do, and he decides to dump his work on that deputy regardless of anything...
  11. When a manager starts acting like his deputy is his secretary, and asks him to make phone calls and draft letters on his behalf...
  12. When a manager is in town and doesn't want to attend meetings, tells his deputy to attend on his behalf, even though his deputy has the day off and can not go...
  13. When a manager doesn't want to attend meetings and just brushes them off to his deputy...
  14. When a manager doesn't like to deal with certain people or situations, tells his deputy to deal with it...
  15. When a manager wants to make his deputy to do something, uses words like "It's for the benefit of your career"...
  16. When a manager knows that his deputy is leaving soon, he decides to give the deputy all his work and enjoy his time as much as possible...
  17. When a manager has a problem that his deputy is on the same employment scale as him, and does his best to make it a point to show off who's the boss around the office...

And finally, when a manager tells his deputy:" If something goes wrong, i'll tell management that it was your fault. Sorry, i can't help you there!".

Tell me, what would you call this manager?

No wonder a lot of people dislike being second in command :\

Mood: :\

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Heikal's Messages To Mubarak

Heikal
.
Recently, highly respect Al Masry Al Youm newspaper started publishing a few letters sent from Mohammad Hassanein Heikal (a famous journalist and a close advisor to jamal Abdel Nasser and Anwar AL Sadat in his early years of ruling Egypt in the 1970s) to Hosni Mubarak (Egypt's President).

They were personal letters directed from Heikal to Mubarak from 1982 (after Hosni Mubarak became President) and onwards.
.


Hosni Mubarak
.
Below are a few parts i think are very important or are things i thought of before and this confirms them:

ارجعوا من فضلكم إلي مراسلات «روتشيلد» مع اللورد «بالمرستون» سنة ١٨٤٠.

ولم يجد «روتشيلد» ما يغري به «بالمرستون» علي مساعدة هجرة اليهود إلي فلسطين غير قوله في خطاب بتاريخ ١٨ أغسطس ١٨٤١ - بما نصه:
«إن مصر وحدها تستطيع أن تقوم بدور مؤثر في توحيد العرب بعد أن تسقط الإمبراطورية العثمانية، ولهذا فإنه يتحتم حجز هذا البلد (مصر) في موقعه وعدم السماح بخروجه إلي المشرق، وإذا استطاع اليهود إنشاء مستعمرات كافية وقوية في فلسطين، فإن هذه المستعمرات تستطيع أن تقوم بمهمة حجز مصر في أفريقيا، وهذا يعطي للقوي الأوروبية يدًا طليقة في المشرق العربي».
بعد ذلك بقرن تقريبًا، أعاد «دافيد بن جوريون» - المؤسس الفعلي لإسرائيل - صياغة مطلب عزل مصر في يومياته كاتبًا ما نصه:
«إن مصر وحدها هي التي يحسب لها حساب في المنطقة، فهي التي تقدر إذا واتتها الظروف الملائمة علي توحيد العرب، لكن مصر أشبه ما تكون بزجاجة، وعنق الزجاجة سيناء، وإذا قامت إسرائيل في فلسطين، فإن إسرائيل سوف تقوم بدور «الغطاء» الذي يمكن كبسه في عنق الزجاجة، فيحكم إغلاقة وختمه ويحبس الخطر داخل قمقم لا يخرج منه
».
.
Saying please refer to correspondence between «Rotchild» (not sure of spelling) with Lord «Palmerston» in 1840.

«Rotchild» could not think of a way to convince «Palmerston» help Jews immigration to Palestine except by saying in a speech on August 18, 1841:

«Egypt alone could play an influential role in uniting Arabs after the fall of the Ottoman Empire, so it is imperative that (Egypt) has to be cornered and enclosed in its boundaries, not to allow leave to the Orient (East Of Egypt, Palestine and other Arab countries).

If the Jews establish colonies that are strong enough in Palestine, these colonies can act as a blockage against Egypt and isolate it in Africa.

Almost century later, «David Ben-Gurion» - the actual founder of Israel - drafted "isolate Egypt" in his diary:
«Egypt alone is reckoned, it is estimated that within the right conditions, Egypt can and will unify Arabs, but Egypt is more like a bottle, and the bottleneck for it is Sinai.
If Israel stays in Palestine, Israel will act as a « cover »can button for the bottleneck, and This will lock out the danger that might come from unleashing Egypt».

---
.
فإنني واحد من الذين يرون صلة مباشرة بين اتفاقيات «كامب ديفيد» وبين ما جري في العالم العربي وله - حتي وصل إلي مأساة - حصار
أو احتلال بيروت ولو لأسابيع أو حتي لأيام:
.
I am one of those who see a direct link between the «Camp David» convention and what happened in the Arab world (Israel's invasion of Lebanon and their brutality in the west bank).

---

وخرافات من نوع «مصر أولاً» (وكان غريبا أن يقال مثل ذلك لشعب عرف أكثر من غيره أن من يقول «أنا أولا» مثل من يقول «أنا وحدي»، وذلك في عصر لم يعد فيه بقاء لأحد وحده مهما كانت قوته (لم تقلها الولايات المتحدة ولم يقلها الاتحاد السوفيتي) - فضلا أن تكون خرافة «أنا وحدي» تحمل في طياتها تجاهلا لكل عناصر هوية وحياة وطن، التراث الحي لأمة وفيه المعتقد واللغة، فضلا عن الجغرافيا والتاريخ).
.
And superstitions like the saying : «Egypt first»
(It was strange to say such nonsense to people who knew better than anyone else that people say «I first», is exactly like those who say «I am alone», putting in mind that we are no longer in the era where one can survive, no matter how powerful. Also, the fairy tale thoughts like: «I am alone» disregard all elements of identity, life, and heritage, as well as geography and history).

---

لكن الذين كان بيدهم الحل والعقد في العالم العربي تلك الأوقات سارعوا إلي الحركة.
ـ كان أول ما فعلوه هو أن الصور والأفلام القادمة من بيروت أخضعت لرقابة صارمة، بحيث لا تحول موادها إلي شحنات متفجرة بعيداً عن بيروت (وهكذا فإن الرأي العام العربي - معظمه علي الأقل - جري عزله عن المشاهد الحقيقية لما جري ويجري، حتي لا تستثار أو تثور مشاعره بما تصعب السيطرة عليه، وكان كثيرون - ومازالوا - يتعجبون لأن الرأي العام العالمي انفعل بمأساة لبنان أكثر مما انفعل بها الرأي العام العربي، وكان السبب في الواقع أن الصورة الكاملة لم تظهر أمام الناس إلا للقلة القادرة علي المتابعة عن طريق الوسائل الخارجية، بينما الجموع الغفيرة ظلت معزولة عنها بالكامل).
.
During the 1980s when Israel invaded Lebanon:
The first thing the Arab rulers (fearing public outrage towards them for not doing anything) did was that the pictures and visual coverage of that war coming from Beirut were subject to strict control.
Thus, the Arab public opinion - at least mostly - has been isolated from the real scenes of what happened .
Many people realized that the world public opinion was agitated because of the tragedy in Lebanon more than agitation by the Arab public opinion. Obviously, the reason was that the full picture did not appear before the Arab people. Only for the few (Arabs) able to follow the news through external means knew the truth).

---

ليس هناك مستقبل لمصر بدون أمة عربية، بمقدار ما أنه ليس هناك مستقبل للأمة العربية بدون مصر

There is no future for Egypt without the Arab nation, much as there is no future for the Arab nation without Egypt.
.
.
Mood: :\

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Al Sha'arawy's Humility

Mohammad Metwaly Al Sha'arawy


Al Sha'rawy for those who don't know was a prominent Shaikh (Islamic Cleric) in the 1970 all the way till the 1990s.

I have previously mentioned him in this post: Sheikh Al Sha'arawy's Words To Mubarak

A while ago i came across this impressive story about him, i thought it would be worth sharing.

One day as he was leaving the Masjid (mosque) after his weekly Friday lesson, people gathered around him and kept cheering for him (he was very popular in Egypt).

People were so exited and pleased with him that they actually lifted his car while he was in it with his driver! (YES! lifted as in all the way in the air and shake it).

After this incident, on the way home (per the driver's story) he asked the driver to stop near a Masjid near his house ( i think it was Al Hussain Masjid).

Al Sharawy went into the Masjid and disappeared for a long time.

The driver got worried and went into the Masjid searching for him. He found Al Sha'arawy on his knees and wiping the floor in the ablution area in the Masjid (place where muslims wash up before prayer).

When the driver asked him with a shock what on earth was he doing, Al Sha'arawy answered:
"After that incident, i feared that vain and thinking too much of myself would start filling my heart. So, i decided to teach my heart a lesson in humbleness and humility".

Allah Yer7amak Ya Sheikhna... ameen.

Mood: Amazed :)

Monday, January 14, 2008

Roberto Baggio and I


The One...The Only...Roberto Baggio

For those who do not know who Roberto Baggio is, let me give you a hint...

He is among the most technically gifted and popular players in the world throughout the 1990s and early 2000s.
He played for the Italian national team in three World Cups, and is the only Italian player ever to score in three World Cups.
He was the best Italian player of the 1994 FIFA World Cup, carrying his team to the final, but was one of the three players who missed a penalty in the final which contributed to Italy losing the trophy to Brazil on penalties.
He won both the European Footballer of the Year (Ballon d'Or) and the FIFA World Player of the Year award in 1993.
He played for teams like Juventus, AC Milan and Inter Milan among others.

This guy is an Italian legend. Let me tell you to what extent...
In Torino, home town for the notorious Juventus team which he played for… whenever traffic police men saw Roberto Baggio in a traffic light, they actually stopped all traffic and let him pass.

YES, HE WAS THAT POPULAR! He was a magnificent player!

For me, Roberto Baggio was\is the best player that played during my generation (90s). He is my favorite player.

I remember the 1994 World Cup final (played in the USA) when Italy played against Brazil. I was so split in half. on one hand I loved Roberto and cheered for him and on the other I loved Brazil. It was hard watching those two clash against each other.

I will not forget how disappointed and bad i felt as Roberto Baggio missed his penalty during the penalty shootout :(

Putting that aside, I have a very funny story about me and Roberto Baggio, the stories goes…

In 1992-1993 at the peak of his performance, I was still in High school.
I was so fond of the guy that I decided to imitate his ponytail.



If you look at the photo well, you'll notice that it is not a normal ponytail. It is like he had a few long hair at the back of his head and the rest was short.

I grew my hair for 6-8 months and then decided now was the time. I went to the barber's shop and explained to the Turkish guy what I wanted to do.

They guy did a perfect job. I had my hair exactly like Roberto.

When he was done, I tucked my long hair (the bunch left at the back of my head) behind my polo shirt and went out of the shop. To tell you the truth I tucked it away fearing my Father's reaction. I wanted to gradually break the news for him.
My father knew I liked Baggio very much (he too liked him a lot), but this might be over the top! lol.

Anyways, I waited for my father to come pick me up.
As I entered the car my father was talking to me, and then as I was bending to clean my trousers, he saw my long hairs.

He shouted at me and kept telling me off that this is ridiculous. He ordered me to go cut off that bunch of long hairs left at the back of my head.

I went down with a big sulk, went inside the barber's shop, but couldn't do it…
I went out again to the street and was about to talk to my father and ask him to let it pass, and then…the incident that I will never forget…

My father went out of the car as I was coming towards him with a furious look on his face and shouted: "7'osh gowa i7la2 sha3rak weee balash 7arakaat el 7'aw@!#& dy!" ("Go inside, cut your hair and stop acting like a f@#!").

I will never forget those words.That was the first time in my life that I ever hear my father say such words! And he was talking to me!

I was stunned. I turned around went in, sat on the chair, got my hair cut off ,and went back home with my father without a single word.

Funny thing is, as we were watching TV later that day, my father wanted to break the silence…check what he said...

My father looked at me and said: "You know what, I think that ponytail would've looked good on you...".

I looked at him and we both burst into laughter…. :)

Anyways, I now dedicate this following video to my favorite player …the one…the only… Roberto Baggio (yamhazany ya Roberto…lol).



Mood: Cheerful :)

Thursday, January 10, 2008

And She Asked: "If I Yawn, God Will Hate me?!!"

Yes, yes...i know...what a silly question! and what a silly topic to talk about!

Actually, i am mentioning this because i have encountered this question twice till now (twice too many to tell you the truth!).

There is a Hadeeth (Prophet's saying) that goes: "God Likes sneezing, and dislikes yawning".


‏إن الله يحب العطاس ويكره التثاؤب فإذا عطس فحمد الله فحق على كل مسلم سمعه أن يشمته وأما التثاؤب فإنما هو من الشيطان فليرده ما استطاع فإذا قال ها ضحك منه الشيطان
صحيح البخاري

I once heard a question about it in person (can't remember where or who), and once read it on a blog.

Her question was: "If i yawn, does that mean God hates me?".

Below was my answer to her...

---

Don’t mix yourself up.

As for the Tatha2ob 7adeeth (the Prophet's saying i stated above), that is a Sa7ee7 one (proven by years of research by Islamic researchers to be a true Hadeeth said by the prophet).

No need to feel sorry about it.

The reason behind it is explained in another 7adeeth (saying)...

It says the meaning of: "al tatha2ob min al shaytaan" (yawning might be the making of the devil)...
Why is it hated by God?
is because the devil is the one that uses it against us...

how? here's how...
When you pray, have you noticed that you always "tetawby" (yawn) when you read Al Fateha (Quran part read while praying) ?

When you pray, have you noticed that you always "tetawby" when you read Al Tashahod (a part in prayers where we say that there is no God But Allah and that Mohammad is God's Prophet - which is the first pillar in Islam "Saying and Believing inThe Tashahod") ?

That is the devil (waswasa), he uses it to lessen our concentration in prayer...especially, with the tashahod when you are mentioning the Shahada (the main pillar of Islam).

This is not my opinion this is the what the prophet told us.

So, the devil uses it against us in prayers by waswasa...that is why God does not like it.

It has nothing to do with God not liking he\she who does tatha2ob.
It is the issue that the devil is behind it.

As for the 3otaas (sneezing), well it is a scientific fact that the heart stops for a fraction of a second when you sneeze.
So, that is why after sneezing we as Muslims say "al 7amdo lelAh"...thanking HIM for the gift of life (the heart stops yet works again). And since we say AL 7amdo lelAh which is an act God likes, then God likes 3otaas..

bas...

---

Updated Note: When sneezing the heart doesn't stop, it changes beat rate. Yet, thinking of it... the reason for saying thank God is still valid. (Thanks Dr.Zizo for reminding me).

Convinced...not convinced... cool in both cases :p

Peace out!

Mood: Fel lazeez :)

Thursday, January 03, 2008

Yom Kippur War (1973 War): An Amazing Egyptian Pilot

This is what heroes are made of.
This is why nations name squares and streets in the name of its heroes.
This is what makes nations proud!

The following footage is from a documentary interviewing an Israeli pilot (during 1973 war).

The Israeli Pilot was chasing an Egyptian Plane for 5 minutes (in air battles that is a very long time). After that, the Egyptian pulled off the most amazing stunt done with a Soviet Plane.

Fellow Egyptians, watch this with pride......




I do not understand how on earth can such an event happen and we as Egyptians don't even know about it.
I mean this material is what legends are made of. If this was in any other country, they'd make a statue of the Pilot that pulled this stunt.

Seriously, the Egyptian governments never knew how to capitalize on the heroism of the Egyptian Army. To them the only 1973 war hero is Hosni Mubarak.

The least i can say to the unknown Egyptian pilot: "Whether you lived after that battle or not, God bless you wherever you are. You made Egyptians proud!".

Mood: Officially Pissed Off With Egyptian Authorities!

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

Happy 2008

Happy New Year Everyone and welcome to my blog's new look :)

Mood: Hopeful :)